Top 10 Things to Avoid During Labor

A Guide for Moms and Dads

1. Eating greasy or heavy foods

Labor is like running a marathon. Early on, it is important for you to eat lightly and keep hydrated. Keep in mind that digestion is greatly slowed during labor and whatever you eat hangs around longer and is more likely to come back up. Heavy and greasy foods are more difficult for your body to digest; and, in my opinion, more traumatic coming back up!

Some snack ideas include:

• Oatmeal
• Fruit
• Popsicles
• Granola
• Cheese
• Nuts
• Yogurt
• Low sugar sports drink

2. Over Exerting Yourself

The truth is you can not walk yourself into labor. Being upright and frequently changing positions helps with comfort and in promoting better positioning of the baby, which can in turn help speed things up. But, periods of rest are equally important. During early labor contractions are mild in comparison to what they will be. I know this sounds unbelievable, but true. It is very important to rest your mind. It is implausible to to stay up for days dealing with the pain of labor and not lose it. So rest early on.

3. Fighting the Process

Labor and Childbirth is something your body is made to do. Of course in some cases a ceserean is needed, but if you do not know for sure that this is the case for you, why not try and give yourself the best chance at a successful vaginal delivery. A few things you can do to promote this process include; trying various positions, pay attention to the cues your body gives you, and keep your muscles relaxed during contractions.

• Positions not only aide in your comfort, but also encourage proper positioning of the baby for delivery. Try sticking with each new position for at least 30 minutes or so. Even if you have found one particular position that is the most comfortable, it is still important to make position changes occasionally to keep the progress going.
• In labor you will get cues from you body; pay attention to them. If after giving a new position 5 contractions it still just doesn't feel right, change positions. If you feel like you need to rest, rest. If you feel like touch or massage will help you get through things, ask. If you feel an overwhelming urge to do something, do it. Just remember to remain confident in your ability to do this and keep in control.
• Relaxation in labor is another great way to avoid fighting the process. Your natural response to contractions will be to tense up and arch your back away from the pressure on your cervix, back and pelvis as the contractions push the baby down into the birth canal. Either you or your partner can remind you to relax each muscle, remain loose and let this baby out. Leaning forward over your belly and keeping feet shoulder width apart can also help. You may find certain positions or bathing enable you to relax better than others. Rhythmic rocking, swaying and breathing also promote relaxation. It is important to take and deal with each contraction one at a time. Completely relax between contractions. Loosen every muscle and let go of all that tension or you soon find that they are piling upon eachother and you start to loose your grip.

4. Hyperventilating

Over-breathing or breathing too rapidly can sometimes cause dizziness, numbness and tingling of the hands, feet, and/or face, and even fainting. If you are planning on taking child birth classes, different types of breathing will be discussed. If not, check out the provided video and link to learn more. The breathing technique you want to master is abdominal or diaphragmatic breathing. This type of breathing is beneficial because it helps with relaxation and stress relief, it oxygenates deep tissues, and strengthens the diaphragm. Labor is both a mental and physical challenge. Proper breathing helps you face the challenge head on with a way to manage the stress, provide the best oxygenation for both you and your baby, and a diaphragm ready for pushing a baby out.

5. Screaming

Making noise during labor and delivery is normal and encouraged. Low guttural noises and moaning keeps the pressure you are exerting on your diaphragm and helps you to continue progress. Screaming on the other hand usually takes place when a women is becoming overwhelmed and losing control during the process. Not the position you want to be in. Screaming irritates your vocal cords and causes you to release the pressure from up above as opposed to directing it below. For example, if you are at the point where you are pushing but are screaming instead, you are releasing your pushing force through your mouth and have less effective pushes. And why would you want to prolong this obviously painful process?

Another thing to consider is that you the birth of your child should be a pelesent experience. Most mothers opting for a natural childbirth want to bring their babies in to a non-traumatic environment... Low lighting, less people, and I'd say low sound. Your baby has been listening to the muffled sounds of your voice and heartbeat since it could hear. Imagine how distressing screaming must be from both the inside and out. Also, screaming indicates that something is wrong and would probably result in more people attending your delivery. Remember ladies there isn't a different prize at delivery for having an unmedicated childbirth. You will get the same baby, i promise. If labor turns out to be way more intense than you can or want to handle, there are options. This does not necessarily mean epidural there are different intravenous, or intramuscular medications that are safe and effective.

6. Getting Frustrated or Defensive with Mom's Short Temper

Keep in mind that Labor is a long and exhausting mental and physical challenge. Most women will reach a point during labor that both her manners and her kind or nurturing spirit go on sabbatical. If she yells, snaps, or even swears at you don't take it personally. Don't respond to her outbursts by shutting down and avoiding her. This is when she needs you the most. Whatever you had been doing earlier in labor that seemed to be working, such as massage, counter pressure, fanning her etc... can sometimes suddenly turn into an annoyance. Some moms are able to carry on regular conversation between contractions but need immediate silence once a contraction starts. Just try your best to pay attention to her needs and anticipate them as best as you can. Continue to be a positive and present support person no matter what she puts you through. Keep in perspective how much she is going through and has been going through for the last 9 months.

7. Deny Mom Pain Medication if She Truly Wants It

I am sure that the two of you have thoroughly discussed plans for pain management. Some mothers-to-be instruct their significant other not to let them get an epidural or pain medication no matter how much they beg or plead. I do not think this is a smart plan, especially for first time parents. With your first child you have no idea what to expect or how long the process is going to take. The best way to head into this journey is with an open mind and flexibility to adapt to any of the things that can happen. If an unmedicated birth is your goal everyone will be fully supportive of your decision. Most women get to a point where they say "I can't do it." or "I need drugs." If you are at that point and you are in transition it is okay to deny the medication and support you through labor. Now, if you are at that point and you are only 3 centimeters, that is a different story. Consider making a more open plan with your support person, for example; where they dissuade you from anything the first three times you seriously ask for something and the next time you ask discuss possibly using intravenous or intramuscular medication just to take the edge off and give you a break so that you can rebuild your strength to cope with the remaining hours of labor to come. Another idea is to have a safe word. that would be a word or phrase that your significant other knows and takes very seriously. You can beg and plead for pain medication as much as you want but they know to dissuade or deny you medication unless you use the safe word.

8. Put Yourself in a Situation Where You Become the Patient

Dad's, know your boundaries or limitations. If you aren't someone who handles blood or needles well, either do not look or step out during procedures involving such things. Mom's are already dealing with enough including the pain of labor, worrying about the baby, and the uncertainty and lack of control of it all just for a start. Please do not add to their worries by placing yourself in the position where you might or actually faint. Imagine fainting and having to be sent to the Emergency Room to get stitches in a gash in your head and missing the delivery... It has happened! Also, remember to eat and drink. It is not a good idea to stop eating because mom's aren't allowed to eat. Mom's are hooked up to IV's and are being well managed. It is your responsibility to take care of yourself.

9. Tell Mom She Is Pooping During Pushing

Many moms-to-be are very nervous about passing stool during pushing. The truth of the matter is that if there is any stool in the colon as the baby is moving through the birth canal, good pushing efforts will move the baby down and the baby's head will cause any stool that is in the way to be passed. So "pooping" is actually a good sign. Either way you do not need to point it out to mom's. They have already had to let go of all modesty and expose their privates to strangers. Last thing you want to do is embarrass them by pointing out something that they have no control over.

10. Ask the Doctor to Put In an Extra Stitch For You

Really stop and think about this one... It is so wrong for so many reasons. Not only is it embarassing for both you and mom, but it is also insulting. This is embarrassing and insulting to mom's who have just worked so hard to deliver your prescious cargo. It implys that she is too loose for you, or that you consider her vagina ruined by the birth of your child. Have faith in women's amazing design and ability to heal.. .please keep that comment to yourself! Also, you may not have thought about this either; it is quite embarassing for you as well because it implies that you are too small for a norman vagina. One of the best responses I have ever heard about to this rude request by dad was: "Sure why dont you show me what you have so I know how small I need to make it."